So at the end of this month I’ll be finished with my undergraduate degree (hooray!)

Upside: I applied to graduate school and am waiting for a response. I have a full time contract position for one year with a great job that pays well.

Downside: I am moving back in with my parents for the next four months at least, after having lived on my own for the last 5 years.

My new job is closer to where my parents are versus where I currently live (in a different city an hour away). Graduate school is also up in the air right now and so if I do get it, at least I wouldn’t have wasted 4 months worth of rent. If I don’t get into graduate school however, it’ll be a year of living with the parents and I don’t think I can do it.

As I pack up my apartment, I truly am mourning the loss of my independence. Since 2012 when I first moved out, I never asked my parents for ANYTHING, and I only visit maybe once a month, if that often. I am used to being able to go out and do what I want, whenever, without being questioned. The problem arises when you realize that I grew up in a very bubble wrapped home with parents who do not exactly respect privacy. My dad and I argue quite a bit because we both have dominant personalities and that there is no way I could ever be as smart as he is. He likes to show that he is large and in charge, and often swears to do so, which makes me cringe-yes, it is very much an obnoxious ego thing. My mom is very much too religious at times and a little naive but she is harmless. I do love them very much but I’ve lived far too independent for far too long now. I lead a very quiet, comfortable life that I enjoy and I feel like it is being ripped away from me. They also rent a very tiny house with barely any space to breathe.

I’m telling myself now that I am going to hold onto as much of my independence as possible, but I know that it is never going to be the same as living on my own. If it comes down to the fact that I end up working for a year, it will be very tempting to move out. Cause the thought of living back at home is depressing.

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